Serena and I audited a Jimmy Wofford clinic today. She kept everyone up to date on Facebook throughout the day, but if you're not "friends" with her here's the scoop:
"If you get left behind jumping up a bank, your horse will HATE you!"
"You should know where your horse is going to land before he takes off."
"Horses don't WANT to jump badly! They jump badly because of US! Ever seen a horse get loose in a steeplechase? It jumps like a BIRD!"
"Close your knee angle as you approach the jump. Don't sit BACK as you approach. Most trainers teach that you sit back, but they're wrong and I'm right."
"I don't teach beginners. Mostly because my nerves are shot."
"I was riding in a warm-up ring with Bill Steinkraus--you know, the greatest rider America has ever produced? That Bill Steinkraus?--and I asked him, on average, how many fences on a course of ten does he get to accurately. He thought about it and said "Seven." I said "Oh." But I was THINKING: "Oh. What does that say about ME?!"
"You are not nervous. I will TELL YOU when to be nervous."
"I want to get to know your horse. It's your job to sit down, shut up, stay out of your horse's way, don't fall off, and don't refuse."
"We're going to do canter exercises! All you have to do is CANTER!"
"Oh, he was doing that last year? Then you should have fixed it!"
"Any rider can be accurate! You think Anne Kursinski got where she is because she always had great horses? NO. When I first met her, she was 17 years old and jumping spotted mules for Jimmy Williams!"
"You, on the grey. Ride over here and have someone pull your spurs off. We have lots of problems to work on today--creating energy is NOT one of them."
"Wait, wait, wait. Why is everyone talking? There is only ONE clinician out here!"
"It's a steady five. Just let your horse go. He's 19 years old and he survived a 2-star--he DOESN'T NEED YOU telling him what to do."
"What went wrong there? You were supposed to go 'one-two-three-four-five!' You went 'one-two-three-OHSHIT!"
"Generally speaking, I wouldn't encourage you to slow down in order to speed up."
"Your heel slid back, along his ribs! Did you feel that? Well, DON'T!"
"Oh! Hit her! HIT HER! She's a BAD girl! Aaaaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh!!